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Top Ten Things Learned at the Berlinale
by Mary Nyiri

10. Your husband has more time to telephone you to chat when he knows you are having much more fun than he is.

9. How to recognize the F**K word in many different languages, including Mandarin, Italian, Arabic, Afrikaans, Spanish and Korean.

8. The early Chicago bird saves all the best seats.

7. Diane Keaton REALLY is a nut case. (Add English to #9!)

6. If you can swallow a large grape whole, you too can be mule for heroine dealers.

5. Milk in America contains blood and pus.

4. The intimate ins and outs of gay sex.

3. If you raise your hand at a press conference before you prepare your questions, you WILL be the first journalist to get the microphone.

2. Size DOESN’T matter in Hollywood – just take a look at Tom Cruise.

1. Skipping most meals, running from theaters to press conferences, working 18 hour days and getting no sleep does NOT guarantee weight loss.